Do you ever feel unwanted?

Do you ever feel unwanted?

We all struggle with feelings of being unwanted, unappreciated, unaccepted and perhaps even unloved at times? The tide of frustration rises and we either explode in anger or recoil in shame, embarrassed and feeling exposed and unprotected.  “No one’s got my back” we think, and then…isolation and silence.

This is one of the areas I struggle with the most. I usually clam up. I feel unprotected, wide open, the tide of frustration rises and I recoil. As a preacher said in a message I listened to recently, “men hide in caves” and I do that well.  Oh by the way, that’s just another word for self-pity, so might as well call it what it is.
The devil and enemy of our souls, preys on these situations and is masterful at taking seemingly neutral words and making their impact resound in our minds and hearts, causing offense, negative emotions, outbursts toward others, and shall we be honest?…verbal and non-verbal violence, cussing, rage and the list can go on. But the devil lies, and while some of the words spoken against us may sting and cause us to wince in pain, we need to line up to a different belief system and a different truth of who we truly are.  To be honest, some of the things said about us and even accusations may have some truth, but our response is critical to our well being and those around us. Someone has said that life is 10% unexpected situations and 90% how we react to these situations.  We must realize that our struggle is never against the person speaking, but the enemy of our souls who seeks our spiritual and emotional destruction.  I hope these practical steps will help with overcoming the enemy in our lives.

1.        I am not WHAT they say about me
My identity is not defined by the words of my accuser. I may have acted wrong, but I am not evil.  I may have failed a task, but I am not failure. We may have done that, but we are not that. The enemy wants to define us by our failures but we must not believe his lies.  Paul the Apostle said that “Therefore, there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  And if God does not condemn me, that’s good enough for me.

2.        I am WHO He says I am
When it comes to our identity in Christ, I have found various types of issues.  For most of us, a poor relationship with our earthly father created the first image of “father” and if the relationship was good and we had a dad who believed in us, spent time with us, praised us, we have typically fewer issues with our image of God as our Father.  For many others (perhaps the majority from my ministry encounters) their earthly father did not provide a good example of the image Father God wants to display in our lives.  So if dad was mean, never came to a baseball game and when he did he was negative and condescending, or if he constantly put you down, our initial tendency is to push away such a “Father” after all, and how could anyone love us so unconditionally. We can get into a cycle of trying to please Father God, but the rejection is so strong that we quite never succeed until we consciously make a decision to receive the love of the Father in our lives. We must choose to start believing that He loves us always and that He has a good plan for our lives and is not mean spirited or harsh.  The Bible says that He has given us a spirit of adoption into His family and we can now call on Him as our Abba, translated “Daddy.”  Very seldom do we hear someone pray to “Daddy God” but He longs for us to call on Him in this way.  You and I are His SONS and DAUGHTERS, we need to believe and know that we are not a mistake, that He is proud of us and sent His Son Jesus to die on a cross for ME and YOU! So let’s stop believing the lies of the enemy and start believing what God says about us and WHO He says we are.

Perhaps you’re thinking “you don’t know me, you don’t know how bad I have been, how could God love me as you say?”  The simple answer is that He can because he is God.  It is of no importance to God what we have done or where we may have come from (our past), HE LOVES US NO MATTER WHAT our past may look like and He certainly knows that we will not become little angels in the future either.  He has already made a way to forgive us of our past sins and will forgive us when we sin in the future when we call on His name.

There is NO LIMIT TO HIS LOVE. How can we not receive it and realize that He wants to heal our broken hearts and that His arms are open even now?  The devil is always seeking to destroy us and render us ineffective in our daily living, but God has come to give us a satisfying and full life.

I want that life, don’t you?  Will you pray this prayer?

Father, I receive your love and believe that you are my Daddy, my Father, and that your love is made perfect in my weakness.  I choose today to stop believing the lies of the devil that I will never measure up, that I will never be good enough, because God you accept me as I am and I don’t have to struggle and strive to measure up to receive this gift.  I believe I am your son and your daughter and that you love me now and will always love me and believe in me.  Thank you for this gift.  Amen!


Davide Colletta

Davide Colletta

Davide was born and raised in Taranto, Italy. He has a background in pastoral and worship ministry and presently works at IBM.

Davide has a unique communication style that has given him a platform in the marketplace to use his “get the job done” skill set.God has instilled in Davide a passion to equip the body of Christ through teaching, mentoring and speaking life through experience and wisdom of years.He is deeply passionate about pursuing and cultivating the presence of God. He currently lives with his wife of 31 years, Lois in Charlotte, NC. They have 3 amazing children with their married spouses.
Davide Colletta

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