My line of work sometimes requires me traveling and staying at different hotels. One of the first things I do when I get to my room is to put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. The word disturb is defined as “interfering with normal arrangements or interrupting quiet, peace or the order of things” (which is my goal when I place that sign on my door).
I believe we can do the same thing when it comes to our heart and emotions; we hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign over the door of our hearts to keep people out because we do not want anyone or anything to disrupt our perception of peace and order. We fear others will judge or condemn us or “interfere” and “interrupt” our state of mind, therefore we choose to shut the door. This is called “rejection.”
In our high achieving and self-serving society, rejection is becoming pandemic and a weapon of the enemy to keep us confused, off balance and bound. I know this first hand having struggled with rejection. It is a constant battle that requires focus, humility and key people in my life, because you and I cannot do it alone. Here are some things I focus on when dealing with rejection. Hopefully these tips based on some life experience, coupled with some biblical insight will enlighten and encourage you.
Due to us fearing that others will judge, condemn, reject or push us away, we erect walls and close doors asking people to “not disturb us.” We reject others first and push them away because we fear we will be rejected by them. This can be interpersonal, emotional, physical and even feel spiritual rejection and alienation from God.
Rejection is Painful
Rejection is more than a sociological condition, it is spiritual bondage that can affect all facets of our lives, including our physical bodies. Pain from rejection can range from being emotional, mental to physical. According to Psychology Today, doctors have linked emotional issues related to rejection with physical pain, because rejection uses the same physical pain pathways in the brain that make us susceptible to pain in our bodies. That’s why loss of a family member, separation from a spouse, a loved one or close friend, (emotionally or neurologically speaking) can hurt so much.
Rejection Escalated is Exhausting
Rejection can also be emotionally draining and lead to severe physical exhaustion. We can expend so much energy thinking thoughts like “why did they not invite me to the party?” “Why was I not tagged in that photo?” “Why isn’t so and so speaking to me anymore?” “Why is he/she looking at me that way?” Thoughts like these can spin out of control as we fantasize and build arguments for the reasons we believe in our minds why things are going the way they are. This emotional escalation can lead to both mental and physical fatigue that typically results in anxiety, increased fear, frustration and depression.
I have personally experienced mental and physical fatigue when placed in similar situations. My reaction was to pull away, sleep or sit alone. Have you been there too? Bet you have. If the devil can keep us isolated, he will consume our minds with thoughts to discourage and keep us down. Isolation during rejection creates a perfect storm of negative emotions that are almost impossible to fend off when we are all alone.
The Angry Face of Rejection
Rejection can be like a slow dripping poison in the body, but it can also be a time bomb causing explosive angry reactions. A wounded animal is highly unpredictable and so are angry men and women. Someone has said that hurt people, hurt people! ‘Nuff said.
We all struggle with rejection, and if you don’t think you do, perhaps you are not being honest with yourself. Ask yourself, what areas of rejection do you need God’s touch in your life? What are the strongholds the enemy uses to keep you bound to words and actions others may have perpetrated (or so you perceived) against you?
There are answers and there is help for all of us. Stay tuned for part 2 next week.
Davide has a unique communication style that has given him a platform in the marketplace to use his “get the job done” skill set.God has instilled in Davide a passion to equip the body of Christ through teaching, mentoring and speaking life through experience and wisdom of years.He is deeply passionate about pursuing and cultivating the presence of God. He currently lives with his wife of 31 years, Lois in Charlotte, NC. They have 3 amazing children with their married spouses.